Quote
"I hate that we exist"

— Rhett, post Carolina Reaper pepper ingestion.  (via rhettandlink)

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darkohexar:

You know what my favorite thing about the Pokemon TCG is? The attack names:

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And my all-time favorite:

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(via lalo-arutan)

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quixon:

thebigblackwolfe:

frantzfandom:

girilla-warfare:

the-average-gatsby:

the-average-gatsby:

how do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber

ask them to pronounce “unionized”

Holy fuck thats clever

It took me 5 minutes to get this

FUCK

Oh fuck you.

Smart people jokes be like

(via falloutboyonboy)

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moonfalora:

rexuality:

a person complaining about puns basically invites every pun enthusiast in the vicinity to come snapping rhythmically from the shadows 

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(via saccharinesinger)

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actualfairyboy:

tardis-mind-palace:

w-for-wumbo:

mylourrydiary:

hlil:

Can u believe there are plants that are illegal
Plants

Can you believe there is love that is illegal
Love

can you believe it’s not butter
butter

the fact that Tumblr can fit weed, bestiality and diary products all into one post doesn’t even phase me anymore

i really dont think they meant bestiality

(Source: hhlil, via anniegirl5)

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hallovvwvvwvvwvvwvvween:

pr0fessah:

unpopular opinion

i hate these cookies

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Go fuck yourself, you piece of shit. You’re the reason society is crumbling. In 20 years, New York is going to be a pile of ash and dust because people like you exist. This is why I fucking hate tubmlr.

(Source: wendy-pleakley, via surdaknabino)

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xekstrin:

not-cooper:

My mom tried to grow a lemon tree here in rainy Washington state.

im laughing so hard im crying over this tiny ass lemon

(Source: coopercinno, via surdaknabino)

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megachikorita:

some kid in my class wrote an essay about how it never explicitly says Beowulf isn’t a robot

(via annieleonhardt)

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thatsonofamitch:

deinoes:

queer-joanwatson:

alivechihiro:

hydrogyne:

"noot noot" factiod actually just statistical error. nice legs daisy dukes makes ah yes, the scalene triangle. it’s a metaphor. you put the outlier between your teeth but you very bark much meme

not all 9000 barrel rolls

but if those metaphors are so accepting, why is it that i, from bird school,

with equius

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(via lalo-arutan)

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wilderwuff:

a man is selling water at a convention. the man has had a good experience with the con-goers until he sees them: a horde of furries making a beeline for his humble stand. he picks up the cooler of water and runs. he catches a glance behind him, and sure enough, they are in hot fursuit

(via lalo-arutan)